Permission for Socialization
by NatesDate
Summary: Ruth falls for a man and thinks he could be the one, but he knows her by an alias. In order to tell him her real name, she needs to have Harry approve an S24.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** Spooks is owned by Kudos and the BBC. There is a further disclaimer at the end of the chapter.

**A/N:** Set shortly after 3.5. According to Harry's Diary and The Personnel Files, Harry held a disciplinary hearing with Ruth over her involvement with John Fortescue on 2 March, 2005, two months after the incident happened. For the purposes of this story, the hearing date has been made earlier.

This story took on a life of its own and is 14 chapters, including the epilogue. That seems crazy to me to even type that. Please take a moment and leave a review as they are greatly appreciated. Thank you to my fellow Spooks writers and readers who have become my friends. You, ladies, are the best.

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><p><strong>Chapter 1<strong>

_Wednesday 19 January 2005_

It had been nearly three weeks since "The Disaster," as she'd taken to calling the night at the Scratch Requiem. Since that time, Ruth kept to herself, working ridiculous hours in an effort to prove, once again, that she was worthy to work in Section D, or more precisely, for Harry.

Thankfully, terror seemed to be on holiday the first weeks of the New Year. Projects that fell to the wayside because there was always something more important to be done were slowly being completed. Ruth volunteered to help Colin with an audit of Registry, which kept her off the Grid for a large portion of the last week. When she finally did make it home each night, she would scrape something together for a late dinner before falling into bed, exhausted.

Shortly after settling at her desk that morning with a cup of tea, Ruth skimmed through her emails, deleting those that weren't pertinent and triaging the others. It was when she got to the last email from Harry, that she was caught off guard. He was ordering her to attend a disciplinary hearing this morning at nine. She had to read further into the message to see that it was a hearing related to her unauthorized meeting with Karl, aka John Fortescue.

Ruth glanced at the clock and saw that it was half seven. She then glanced in the other direction, towards Harry's office, and saw that it was still dark. She rested her elbows on the desk and placed her head in her hands.

"Ruth, are you all right?" Malcolm had stopped at her desk to greet her as was his routine. She looked up at him without her usual smile and he was taken aback, though he tried to hide it. "You seem concerned about something," Malcolm said.

It was early and the Grid still mostly deserted, something Ruth verified with a quick sweep of her eyes.

"I've been called to a disciplinary hearing with Harry at nine this morning about my actions relating to Karl, the man on the source tapes. Did he ask you about what happened that night?"

Malcolm nodded. "Well, yes, he asked me to write up a summary of what happened but it was very brief. We went, we sang, we chatted with the man briefly, and once you returned, I escorted you home. I heard what he said to you at your desk that next day; I thought that was the end of it." He crossed his arms and frowned. "A disciplinary hearing? Seems a bit odd."

"I've no idea what to expect. Is there a panel or is it just Harry? Do you know?" Ruth asked, desperate for any insight into the process, though she knew all too well that Malcolm himself had never been through one.

"I think it's just Harry. Where do you have to go?" he asked.

Ruth re-checked the email. "One of the civilian interview rooms on the main level. Doesn't mention whether I need to bring anything with me or who else might be there."

"Ruth, I wouldn't worry too much about it. If it was serious enough to suspend or even fire you over, it would have happened already. You know Harry, he probably doesn't want to do this any more than you do but HR is likely telling him this is something he has to do. Just go and say yes and no at the appropriate times and you'll be fine."

Ruth took a deep breath. Malcolm had a point and panicking over the issue wasn't going to help. "Of course you're right, Malcolm. I'll be fine. Just not how I expected to start my day," she said as she turned to her computer.

She tried to stay busy for the next hour to keep her mind off the hearing. A phone call from Special Branch that had her arguing about protocol for the sharing of information did the trick and soon it was time. Ruth intentionally arrived 10 minutes early; she didn't want to be accused of being late on top of everything else. She waited on a bench outside the room until 8:55 when Harry came around the corner and indicated she should join him in the interview room.

It was one of the smaller rooms, with just two chairs and a table, upon which sat an audio recorder. Ruth sat in the chair closest to the door but did not say anything. She watched as Harry sat opposite her and turned on the recorder, stating their names, the date, and the purpose of the recording.

"You know why we have to do this, Ruth, don't you?" Harry started.

"Of course. I have erred and now I must repent," she said. So much for sticking to yes or no answers, she thought to herself.

Harry continued. "What you did was a big breach of protocol. Possibly even illegal."

"I know, and I'm sorry. It won't happen again."

"Listening into phone taps is all very well – but engineering chance lunches on the table next to the person you're listening to? Going to Requiems so you can sing alongside them? Taking Malcolm along to pretend to be your brother? It's madness, Ruth. That's what it is."

Ruth sighed, already wishing this was over. "I know, and like I said, I am really sorry."

"You do understand why we can't let things like this happen, don't you?"

"Of course, I do. 'Our job is to protect. To serve. To maintain the status quo.' Isn't that what you always say?" Ruth asked.

"Yes, that is our job."

She noted that Harry's voice remained dispassionate and part of her wondered if she could say something to change that, without getting suspended or fired, of course. "And I was doing none of those things."

"You have to think about the moral implications of this. What would this man think if he knew you'd been eavesdropping on him in this way?"

"I don't know. I never saw him again."

"Well, I'll tell you what he'd think. He'd think it was downright creepy; that's what. Just how were you going to break the news to him? 'What do I do for a living? Well, funny you should ask, but actually I'm a spy and I listen to people's conversations. People like you, for example. And I liked the sound of your voice.' Pifft, whiz, Mr Random Man vanishes into the ether, calling the News of the World as he goes."

'He's moved from dispassionate to melodramatic,' she thought to herself. "It wasn't like that, Harry."

"Maybe it wasn't, but I don't really care what it was like. Actions have consequences, Ruth. I want you to think through the consequences of your actions. What if you had seen this man again? What if you'd let slip how you'd actually come across him? What if he told the press?"

"It doesn't bear thinking about," she replied, having decided that short answers were for the best.

"It doesn't. But let's think about it for a moment. The press would have crucified you. They would have crucified all of us. 'Lonely, single MI5 officer uses job as dating agency.' I can see the headlines now."

"That's a not a very good headline. They would have come up with something better than that," she retorted back, his words about her being a lonely, single MI5 officer reverberating in her mind.

Harry laughed. "That's not the point, Ruth. What I'm saying is that you would have been hung out to dry."

"It was a mistake. I'm sorry. A silly mistake. It hasn't happened before and it definitely won't happen again." She hoped she sounded sufficiently contrite so this experience would just end.

"But can you explain why? You seem so level-headed, normally."

"I am. I am level-headed. I was lonely, I suppose, as you say. And there was something different about this man. He was kind; he was fatherly. He was successful…" She trailed off, realizing that perhaps she'd said too much.

"That's okay, Ruth. There are worse crimes than being lonely, you know. All I ask is that you separate your life from your work like; your time from office time; your goals from our goals. Whatever you do in your time is your business, but you can't let it get in the way of work." Harry's voice had softened a touch, perhaps because he was trying to impart some advice for her.

"My work is my life. They're inextricably entwined," she replied, honestly.

"Well, un-entwine them, then," he said, the softened voice gone.

'Is he kidding? He, who is the only person on the Grid more than me and rarely mentions anything of a personal life, is lecturing me about separating the two? Well that's just rich,' she thought. "Oh, it's that simple, is it?"

"It's never simple. But we can make it simple. We have to make it simple."

Those words were her undoing. "Well, I think you're pretty damn simple, Harry. To put it like that. To reduce it to black and white lines. Why did you have to make such a game out of it? Why did you go through the elaborate charade of putting Sam onto me? Why did she keep track of our emails? Why have Malcolm play along too? Dammit, Harry, you can be a coward."

"Finished?" he asked, the dispassionate voice firmly in place.

"Yes." At least she'd stuck to her yes/no mantra for one answer, even if it was at the end. She stood and walked over to the door. She debated for a second before deciding to speak her mind and turned back to Harry.

"And this disciplinary process is a shambles. Slapped wrist, Harry. That's all it needed. Not this recording nonsense. Have you lost all sense of proportion? What's real for you anymore? What turned your heart to stone?" Without waiting for an answer she opened the door and walked through, allowing it to slam shut.

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><p><em>AN: The conversation during the disciplinary hearing is taken from The Personnel Files. It was a transcript of their conversation, so Harry and Ruth's spoken words belong to Kudos and the BBC whereas Ruth's thoughts to herself, the descriptions of the mood, etc., are all mine._


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

****Disclaimer:** **Spooks is owned by Kudos and the BBC.

**A/N:** Thank you for your reviews. For those readers in the States, I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving. For everyone else, I hope it was a happy Thursday. :-)

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><p><em>Saturday 22 January, 2005<em>

Morning dawned and Ruth vowed not to go anywhere near the Grid unless there was a redflash. Often times Ruth would go into Thames House on her Saturdays off for a few hours. She said it was because it was quiet and she could get more work done, but if she was honest it was because Harry was often there. Once she admitted to herself that she did in fact have a crush on her boss, she made an effort put those feelings behind her. Not that that had worked out too well because that's when she volunteered for the task of listening to the recording of persons of interest, which led to "The Disaster."

But today was for her and a trip to the National Gallery was planned. She'd not been since her time at University and after living in London for nearly 18 months she decided not to put it off any longer. The weather was cool and rainy; she hoped that meant less people venturing out to the museum. She bundled up against the cold, grabbed a book to read on the bus, and set off.

Forty-five minutes later, she found herself climbing the steps to the entrance. She checked her coat and larger bag, dropped a tenner in the donation box, and began to wander. There wasn't anything in particular she wanted to see; it was more the idea of spending time in the presence of these masterpieces that appealed to her. And she'd been right about the weather as the museum wasn't busy.

An hour later, Ruth sat to rest on a backless bench in front of a van Gogh painting. She'd been alone on the bench for a few minutes when someone sat on the other end, facing the opposite wall. It was a reflex for her to glance over at the person but it took all of her self-control not to bolt out of the room when she saw who had sat next to her.

John Fortescue.

She took a deep breath before consulting the museum floor plan to decide where to go next. 'Act normally,' she said to herself. 'Do not draw attention to yourself.'

"Susan?" said the voice she had come to know so well. Shit.

"Yes?" she inquired, playing at being nonchalant and hoping her nerves didn't shine through.

"It's me, John. We met at the Scratch Requiem a few weeks ago." He smiled nervously at her.

"Oh, of course. Lovely to see you again. How are you?" Being rude would draw attention to herself, she thought, so making small talk seemed like the best course of action.

"I'm good. I hope you're well; the New Year treating you all right?" He slid closer to her on the bench to make room for an older woman who was approaching the bench from his side.

"Yes, it's treating me well, thank you." She smiled shyly, not knowing what else to say.

John returned the smile, and then looked over his left shoulder at the van Gogh in front of Ruth. "It's a beautiful painting; one of my favorites."

Ruth looked up at the painting and nodded. "One of mine as well," she admitted.

He turned back to her and asked if she was a regular visitor to the museum.

"No, I've not been here since I was at university. And you? Do you come here often?" she asked, even though her subconscious was telling her to shut up and extract herself from the situation.

"No, me neither. I keep telling myself that I live in this amazing city and I should take advantage of all there is to do and then..." He trailed off with a slight shrug of his shoulders.

"Life happens," she added, completing his sentence. She was rewarded with yet another smile and found her resolve to get away from John weakening.

"I should have asked, are you here with someone?"

She shook her head in response.

"As luck would have it, neither am I. Would you like to walk around, together?"

Ruth was surprised by the question and hesitated, which John read as a no.

"Sorry, I shouldn't intrude on your day," he said. He started to stand but was stopped by Ruth's hand on his arm.

"Let's go for a walk," she said as she stood and walked around the bench to meet him.

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><p>Two hours later and Ruth found herself standing alone near the coat check. John was in the loo and the reality of the situation was setting in. She'd been told to keep her distance from this man and yet she'd just spent the most wonderful afternoon with him, wandering through the museum and having the sort of discussions she'd dreamed of when she was at university and still somewhat idealistic about the life ahead of her. She should have bolted the moment he stepped into the loo but her heart won out over her head and she stayed.<p>

She was brought back to reality by the light touch of John's hand on her arm. "Thanks for waiting."

They each donned their jackets and walked to the exit. The weather hadn't improved while they were inside and a steady rain was blanketing Trafalgar Square. Ruth was wondering what she should say next when John beat her to it.

"Would you care for tea? I know of a great café but we'd need to take the Tube; it's only a few stops away, or we could try and find something nearby but I'm not too familiar with the area…" He paused for a breath. "Sorry, I tend to rattle on when I'm nervous."

A confused look settled on Ruth's face. "Why are you nervous?" Ruth could see the edges of a blush rising from his neck.

John looked at her for a moment before the words rushed out his mouth. "I'm asking a beautiful woman to tea after spending a wonderful afternoon with her and hoping she says yes. Why do you think I'm nervous?"

It was Ruth's turn to blush.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

**Disclaimer:** Still owned by Kudos and the BBC.

**A/N:** Thank you for your reviews. I hope you are willing to leave another.

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><p>A bell rang as the door opened and Ruth was greeted by the warmth within the cafe and the intoxicating scent of coffee. John motioned towards the fireplace and Ruth selected a table flanked by two overstuffed arm chairs. After shrugging off their jackets, John returned from the counter with two menus and they settled into the chairs.<p>

"The menu board says they have chili and beef stew today," John said. "In case you were wondering."

"Thank you. Do we need to order at the counter?" she asked, not having seen any wait staff.

"Yes; I'll take care of it. Have you decided?"

Ruth nodded and shared her choices with John, who stepped up to the counter and returned with two cups of tea. "I'm sorry it took so long to get here."

"It's fine; I'm assuming you don't control the Tube," she said as she stirred the milk and sugar in her tea.

"I'm a man of many talents, but controlling the Tube is sadly not one of them. My journey to work each morning would be much more enjoyable if that was the case," he joked.

Ruth smiled. "I usually take the bus; the stop is only a block from home and most days gets me there as fast as the Tube."

"Where is work?"

"Department for Environment, Food, and Rural Affairs, so DEFRA. I'm a researcher in the Food and Environment Research Agency, which is not exactly how I imagined putting my Classics degree to use," she said, sipping her tea.

John looked suitably impressed, though that wasn't her intention. "How did you imagine using your Classics degree? University lecturer? New and exciting translations of Homer?" he asked with a teasing smile.

"Very funny," she quipped back with a smile. "I did think I'd like to teach, but then I worked as a TA and found that I loathed it. I tried to get a job in Greece at a museum but didn't have any luck. That's when I started applying in Civil Service; figured I would find something to do until I could figure out what I really wanted to do and find a job, but here I am."

"Where are your offices located? I presume somewhere near Whitehall."

"Smith Square," she said. At his confused look she added, "It's between Parliament and Thames House. I don't think we're important enough to warrant office space any closer to Whitehall," she said with a smile.

Just then one of the kitchen staff approached with their meals and it was a few minutes before Ruth re-started the conversation. Even though she knew quite a bit about John from her research, she couldn't let him know that.

"And where do you work? Are you putting a hard-earned degree to little use as well?"

John took a moment before responding as he finished chewing his food. "I attended Durham University and studied Economics, eventually earning my PhD. Landed my first job in Manchester. I was there for two years before being hired on with the City and I've been here ever since. I'm an administrative analyst and sit on a number of boards and commissions to represent City interests. It can be quite fascinating one day and dull as ditch water the next."

Ruth smiled at his assessment. "I know what you mean."

"How's your brother? I'm sorry, I can't remember his name at the moment," John apologized.

"Giles, and he's well. We had lunch together this past week," she added, which was the truth. She and Malcolm had managed to escape the confines of Thames House to a nearby deli one day for lunch.

"Does he work near you? I mean, if you were able to have lunch together," he asked.

Ruth intentionally took a big bite of food to give her extra time to think of an answer. Legends worked best when they were close to the truth, but being a technical officer, Malcolm had no need for an established legend.

"He does IT, but I never understand what he really does when he talks about it. He worked for a company a number of years ago that went public and he did very well. Eventually he decided to leave and have his own consulting business," she said, hoping that she could change the subject soon.

"Good for him. Was that who you were supposed to meet for lunch that day?" John asked, earning himself a confused look from Ruth.

"The day we met; you were having lunch at the table next to me at Julie's. I thought that since it was quite a ways from your office that maybe you were supposed to meet him."

John's assumption was much better than the truth; that she knew he'd be there because she'd listened to his recordings, so she nodded in agreement.

"Yes, he was to meet me that day but something came up with one of his clients. The restaurant is further than I would typically go for lunch but Giles had heard good things about it and wanted to give it a try." She smiled and hoped her explanation sounded plausible. Before he could ask another question about her personal life, she redirected the conversation back to John.

"So tell me what do you do in your spare time besides singing and visiting museums?" Her voice took on a lighthearted tone, which he picked up on.

"I already admitted to not visiting the museum and that night a few weeks ago was the first time I'd sung with a group like that in months, so I'm not likely to convince you that I'm busy leading a cultured life," John said.

Ruth laughed lightly. "I'm the same way. I do have a choir I sing with at a church near my house. They are a lovely group but most of the members are retired and their favorite form of entertainment is to grill me about my personal life." Ruth wished she could have taken the words back as soon as they left her mouth.

John looked down at his cup of tea. "Does this day mean you have something to tell them?"

Ruth looked at John over the rim of her cup. "Yes, I think I do," she said quietly and enjoyed the pleased look that settled on his face.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

**Disclaimer:** Spooks is owned by Kudos and the BBC.

**A/N:** Thanks again for all of your reviews.

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><p><em>Sunday 23 January 2005<em>

Ruth awoke on Sunday morning to a sliver of light shining through the curtains. The air of her bedroom was chilly so she stretched her body under the heavy covers keeping her warm. She glanced at the clock on her nightstand and wasn't surprised to see that she'd slept a full nine hours. Her mind began to replay the previous day's events and she couldn't stop herself from smiling. She had never expected to see John Fortescue again, so to not only see him but to spend an enjoyable day with him was nothing she ever imagined.

Her happiness was tempered by the fact that John knew her as Susan Hepburn and not Ruth Evershed. Thankfully she'd kept enough of her wits about her during their meal yesterday to not give John her mobile number, telling him she'd dropped it in the sink and needed to purchase a new one. She had excused herself to the bathroom and, feeling lucky that it hadn't rung during their time together, powered down the phone. It was frowned upon by the Service to do so, but at that moment she didn't care and wasn't going to take any chances.

She mentally ran through her list of errands to run later today, adding the purchase of a pay-as-you-go mobile to the list. Fidget's meowing from the kitchen was growing louder and more insistent so she moved out from under the covers and wrapped herself in a thick white toweling gown and slid her feet into slippers before making her way downstairs.

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><p><em>Monday 24 January 2005<em>

Harry watched from his office as Ruth arrived on the Grid early morning as usual. He knew that she liked to arrive early, especially on Mondays, because the weekly terror briefing needed to be updated with any pertinent data from the weekend and she hated being rushed before the morning briefing. He knew this because one morning several months ago the bus ran late and when he inquired as to the status of the briefing, she went off on him and walked away. She later apologized, profusely of course, and he'd accepted her apology, though he'd not really felt one was necessary. He gave her credit for not being afraid to stand up to him and in a way it made him trust her more.

Ruth dropped off her bags and jacket at her desk and started up her computer, then walked in the direction of the kitchen, presumably for a cup of tea. He was a little surprised she hadn't made eye contact yet; he was usually greeted with a smile and a wave from her once she was at her desk.

Deciding that it was time for a cup of coffee, Harry made his way to the kitchen. He paused just outside the doorway and watched as Ruth moved fluidly around the room, gathering milk and sugar for her tea. He thought he glimpsed a smile on her face and if he wasn't mistaken, she was also humming.

"Good morning," he said as he stepped into the room.

"Oh, good morning, Harry," she replied. She glanced at him with a smile as she continued to make her tea.

"Did you have a nice weekend?" he asked. She definitely had been humming something, but he couldn't place the song.

"Lovely. Finally had a chance to visit the National Gallery and spent a few hours wandering around. It was quite… enlightening. How was your weekend?"

Harry noticed that she'd finally stopped moving and leaned against the counter while she waited for his reply.

"My weekend was all right. Blessedly quiet for a change," he added as he made himself coffee. Ruth had started to hum again and it was niggling at his brain. He was tempted to ask her what it was, but he decided he wanted the challenge of figuring it out for himself. He finished with his coffee and turned back to Ruth.

"The Grid was quiet as well; you shouldn't have too much to add to the weekly terror briefing," he said, continuing to watch her.

"That's good. I should get started on it though. I'll see you at the briefing, Harry," she said before walking out of the room, the humming having started up again.

He followed her out of the room and caught a few more notes of the song before having to detour to his office. Putting the song aside for a moment, he was happy that Ruth had had a good weekend. She was often in on the weekends, even when she was scheduled off, and while he enjoyed that time with her on the Grid, she certainly deserved time away, especially when things were quiet on the terror front.

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><p>Ruth sat on her sofa and placed the takeaway container in front of her. She'd stayed later than planned at work and decided to pick up dinner on the way home rather than cook for herself. Ten minutes after she sat down, her new mobile rang. A number she had come to know flashed across the screen.<p>

She quickly swallowed her food before answering the call. As John's voice floated through the phone, she sat back and simply enjoyed talking with the new and wonderful presence in her life.

The call ended a half hour later, with a dinner date planned for Thursday evening at Julie's.

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><p><em>Thursday 27 January, 2005<em>

It had taken him three days, but he'd finally figured out what song Ruth was humming on Monday. It was from Mozart's Requiem, something he'd not heard in some time. He knew that Ruth sang with a choir in a church near her home, and he assumed it was a song the group was practicing.

Activity was picking up on the Grid but Harry still had time to notice that Ruth seemed in better mood this week. After her spirited performance at the disciplinary hearing she'd been quiet the rest of the week, not speaking to him beyond what was necessary for work. He'd wondered how long it would last and was pleased to see that a weekend away from the Grid appeared to have allowed her to move past the incident.

Glancing at his watch, he saw that it was close to half five, meaning most of his staff had likely left for the day. Surveying the Grid, he noted that Zoe was still at her desk reviewing files, Ruth appeared to be shutting down her computer, and Adam and Danny weren't in sight. Harry himself still had another hour of work to do, so he decided to have a cup of tea before tackling the last pile on his desk.

As he made his way back from the kitchen, he paused as he overheard Ruth and Zoe talking. She complimented Ruth on her appearance and Ruth admitted she had a dinner date with a new friend. Harry chose this moment to come around the corner, as he needed to see her for himself.

"Off home Ruth?" he asked casually, pretending not to know the answer.

"No, out to dinner first," she said, not mentioning the new friend.

Harry's observational skills were still sharp and he quickly took note of the change in her appearance. It was subtle, but he noticed the touched-up eye makeup and the addition of a deep red lipstick. An image flashed through his mind of her lipstick smeared from a passionate kiss. He wondered just what it would be like to be the one who caused that when he realized she was speaking.

"I'm sorry, Ruth, I just remembered something I needed to do before I leave tonight. You were saying?"

"Just hoping you don't work too late. You need to enjoy the ability to leave at a normal hour while you still can," she said with a slight smile.

"You're right, of course, but it's just another hour. I'll not be here too late," he replied. "Enjoy your dinner."

Ruth had donned her jacket, wrapping a thick knit scarf around her neck. She moved her bag to her shoulder and picked up her gloves. "Thank you, Harry. I'll see you tomorrow," she said before turning to the pods. He watched her leave before heading back to his office. As he settled in his chair, he wondered why the idea of Ruth going for dinner with a new friend left an uneasy feeling in his stomach.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

**Disclaimer:** Spooks is owned by Kudos and the BBC.

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><p><em>Tuesday 22 February 2005<em>

All hell broke loose on the Grid that morning as a known AQ member being watched by Special Branch slipped away from his minders and GCHQ reported increased chatter of an attack. Adam, Zoe, and Danny were busy in the field while Ruth tried to anticipate the man's next move.

As the day dragged on, Ruth suspected she wouldn't be able to make her dinner date with John that evening. She'd been lucky in their month of seeing one another that her work hadn't interfered with their plans but she knew it was only a matter of time. By three in the afternoon and no end to the terror threat in sight, Ruth needed to call John and postpone their date.

"Malcolm, I need to make a call and cancel my plans for the evening. Can you cover for me if anyone asks? I'll be back in 10 minutes," she said.

He looked up from the computer near hers. "Of course. Feel free to bring me a cuppa on your way back," he said with a sly grin.

Ruth returned the smile. "You drive a hard bargain but it's a deal." She reached into her bag and unzipped the interior pocket, where she kept her other phone. She palmed the phone and slid it into her skirt pocket before grabbing the black wrap off the back of her chair and wrapping it around herself.

It wasn't five minutes later that Harry came looking for Ruth.

"Ran up to roof, I believe. Should be back shortly; she needed to cancel her plans for the evening," Malcolm said.

Harry nodded in acknowledgement. "Tell her I need an update on her progress ASAP," he said before returning to his office.

All their hard work paid off when the suspect was picked up just before five in the evening, with the public of London none the wiser. After doing what absolutely needed to be done, Harry instructed his staff to head home for the night and be prepared for the full debrief and wrap up the following day. He watched as Ruth quickly disappeared and then returned five minutes later.

"Thank you for hard work today, Ruth," he said, gracing her with one of his infrequent smiles.

She waved away the compliment. "It's my job, Harry. I'm just glad no harm was done and I can come back tomorrow and do this all again. Well, hopefully not this exactly, but…"

"Yes, Ruth, I know what you mean. Sorry you had to cancel your plans," he added, curious to see what her reaction would be.

Ruth paused briefly. "Umm, it's not a problem, just dinner with a friend. We'll reschedule for some other time. Sorry to rush out, but I'd like to catch the next bus. Good night, Harry," she said as she walked briskly towards the pods.

Harry had the sense that not all was as it seemed so after giving her a 30 second head start, he made his way to the pods. The lift indicated it was going down, so Harry took the risk that she was in the lift and walked quickly down the stairs. He opened the door a crack and saw Ruth walking out the main entrance of Thames House. He exited the stairwell and made his way to the same doors Ruth had just passed through and hoped she was not right outside as he pushed the door open. He swept the area with his eyes and saw her walking north on Millbank Street. Following at a respectable distance, he was thankful he'd put his suit coat on before he left his office. He hung at the back of the crowd waiting to cross Horseferry Road and continued to follow Ruth to Smith Square and the offices of DEFRA. She stood for a few minutes outside the main entrance and it wasn't long before a nondescript silver car pulled over and stopped near Ruth. A tall man with dark ginger hair moved quickly around the car from the driver's seat to open the door for her. As she passed him she reached up and kissed his cheek, causing the man to smile widely. He moved back around the car and it quickly pulled away and turned the corner out of sight.

Harry stood in the shadow of the building and wondered why Ruth had lied to him about her plans for the evening. He began to walk back to Thames House, not knowing whether the unsettled feeling was because Ruth had a man in her life or because she'd not shared this detail with him.

* * *

><p>"I'm not one to get overly sentimental, but do you realize it's been a month since we met again?"<p>

Ruth turned her head to look up at John. "Are you suggesting this is some sort of anniversary?" she asked, watching his face carefully. She was snuggled into his side with her head on his shoulder as they sat on her sofa watching whatever the BBC Three drama of the night was.

"I guess it is. I didn't check to see what the proper gift was to give in the case of a one month anniversary. I do hope you'll forgive me," he said. He attempted to look appropriately contrite as a smile threatened to break out.

Ruth smiled as well. "I'm the one who caused us to miss our dinner reservation because of work so how about we agree that takeout Chinese food is appropriate and call it good." She started to turn back to the telly when John placed his hand on her cheek and pulled her close.

"Spending time with you this past month has been wonderful, Susan," he said quietly, "and if we'd been at a restaurant I wouldn't be able to do this," before pulling her into a tender but lengthy kiss. When they broke apart for air, Ruth reached for the remote and turned off the television before turning back to John. Reading the desire in his eyes, she shifted herself to a better position to lean in and kiss him again.

It was some time later when they broke apart, the quiet of the room broken only by their heavy breathing. John was still in the same position but Ruth was now straddling his lap. The top few buttons of her blouse were undone where John had kissed his way down her neck and had been paying particular attention to the tops of her breasts with his lips, while her fingers had run through his hair and left it mussed.

Ruth knew it would be all too easy to let this situation progress and end with John in her bed. A part of her wanted that quite badly. He treated her so well, he wasn't intimidated by her intellect and judging by the firmness she could feel through the layers of her skirt and his pants, he was as excited by her as she was by him. There was just one thing stopping her.

He still knew her as Susan Hepburn and not Ruth Evershed. Taking him to her bed without telling him the truth wasn't fair to him and it certainly wasn't what she wanted either. She needed to put the brakes on this evening and find the courage to submit an S24 form to Harry.

"Susan, is something wrong? Did I push you too far?" John asked.

The concern she heard in his voice was reflected in his eyes. This man cared about her and she needed to come clean before things went any further. She placed her hands on the side of his face and kissed him deeply.

"No, you've done nothing wrong. But I'm not yet ready to move to that next step in our relationship. I'm sorry if you feel I've led you on..."

She was silenced by another kiss. "You haven't. There's no need for use to rush into anything. I'm okay with waiting." He buttoned up her blouse before wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her close. She responded to the gesture by kissing the top of his head before resting her chin on the same spot. She enjoyed the feeling of being held by John, wondering if she'd have another chance once she told him the truth.


	6. Chapter 6

****Chapter 6****

**Disclaimer:** Spooks is owned by Kudos and the BBC.

**A/N:** I neglected over the past few chapters to thank the readers of this story for your reviews. I love to read your thoughts, questions, and speculations about what might happen next. I hope you will continue to read and review the story.

* * *

><p><em>Wednesday 2 March, 2005<em>

Ruth had spent the past week trying to summon the courage to submit the S24 form to Harry. John had been busy with work and then out of town presenting at a conference in York. They tried to make time to talk on the phone each evening but it wasn't the same as being able to see one another. Ruth realized during this time how much she cared for John and it strengthened her resolve to submit the form. It wouldn't be a pleasant experience with Harry; she tried not to think what she would do if Harry said no.

She sat at her desk, the completed Permission for Socialization form in front of her. All she needed to do was pick it up, walk into Harry's office, and hand it to him. She could just slip it into his inbox, but that felt cowardly to her. She knew getting official permission to tell John her real name and where she worked would be a challenge, but he was worth the fight.

She'd debated whether to hand it to Harry first thing in the morning, when it was still just the two of them on the Grid or to wait until the end of the day, when again it would just be the two of them. She'd decided on end of the day, so she sat waiting for him to return to the Grid. He had a late afternoon meeting with the Home Secretary and she hoped this wasn't one of the times they would end their appointment with a glass of whisky and talk of sports. At the sound of the pods whirring, Ruth looked over to see Harry stepping through the opening. It was time.

"Good afternoon, Ruth. Anything interesting happen while I was gone?" he asked, clearly in a good mood.

Ruth shook her head. "It's been quiet here, thankfully. Everyone else is off home except Malcolm. Something about working out some bugs on some bugs," she said and Harry chuckled.

"In other words, steer clear of the Tech Suite for the night," he replied.

Ruth smiled. "I don't have to tell you twice."

"No, that you don't. Were you waiting for me? Is that why you're still here?" he asked.

Ruth's smile disappeared and she suddenly looked nervous. "Yes, I have something I need to give you."

Harry's curiosity was piqued, but he didn't let it show. He nodded in the direction of his office. "Shall we?"

Ruth stood and walked into Harry's office with a thin file folder in her hand, stopping in front of his desk. Harry slid the door shut and hung up his coat before taking a seat at his desk. Folding his hands in front of him he looked up at Ruth and the folder, wondering what she was about to hand him.

"Harry, I hope you know how much I've enjoyed working here. Despite a few missteps on my part, I feel like I've made a positive contribution to Section D and I hope you consider me to be an asset to your team." Ruth took a breath as Harry put his hand up, signaling her to stop.

"Are you leaving us? Is that what's in the folder, your resignation?" he asked.

"No! Well, I hope I'm not leaving. No, this..." She opened the folder and tried to prepare herself for what was coming next. "This is an S24 form."

Harry's relief that she wasn't planning to leave her job was replaced by dread that she was seeing someone and felt strongly enough about him to have him vetted. He held out his hand, waiting for her to give him the form.

Ruth stood frozen, terrified to hand the document over. She wasn't planning to leave Section D but that didn't mean Harry wouldn't fire her on the spot for having started a relationship with John.

"Ruth, may I have the form, please?"

She held out her hand, the shaking of the paper giving away her nervousness. Harry grasped the sheet in his fingers, sliding it out of Ruth's grasp. He turned the paper around and set it on his desk before glancing at the name at the top of the form. His usual self-control dissolved when he read 'John Fortescue' on the form.

"Have you lost your mind?" he bellowed.

* * *

><p>Malcolm set down the tiny tweezers and removed the goggles from his head. Once free of equipment, he lifted his arms above his head and enjoyed the stretch of his muscles. He'd sat bent over these new prototype bugs for the last hour and finally felt as though they were ready to be tested, though that would have to wait until tomorrow.<p>

He stood from the stool upon which he'd been perched and moved around the suite, returning equipment to its proper location and finally locking up the bugs in the secure locker near the door. Glancing around the room one last time to ensure he hadn't neglected anything, he was satisfied with the room and exited the suite. He was on his way to the Forgery Suite, where his desk was located, and as he stepped onto the Grid proper he heard the sounds.

It was yelling and screaming and it was coming from Harry's office. Malcolm paused his steps to look at Harry's office where he was shocked to see Ruth standing toe to toe with Harry, yelling at him and pointing her finger in his face. Harry was more restrained but he also possessed a charisma that allowed him to project a persona that was much bigger than his physical presence.

Malcolm was caught off guard by the exchange. Granted, Ruth was one of the few officers that didn't seem to be afraid to stand up to Harry, but he'd never seen them have a shouting match quite like this. As his senses came back to him, he quickly made his way to the shadows, just in time for Ruth to yank open the office door and yell, "You're a bastard, Harry Pearce, and I don't care if I ever see you again!"

Malcolm blanched at the vehement tone of her voice and watched as Ruth picked up her bag and jacket and made her way quickly through the pods. He turned his attention back to the office and saw Harry standing in the doorway, having watched her departure as well. Malcolm remained in his place, certain that Harry wouldn't welcome the company.

"Malcolm, I know I don't have to ask you not to share what you've just seen with anyone else," Harry said, having shifted his focus to Malcolm.

He should have known that Harry wouldn't miss a thing. "Of course, Harry. I'm sure Ruth didn't mean what she said," he added.

Harry quietly said, "I'm not so sure about that," before stepping back into his office and closing the door.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

**Disclaimer:** Spooks is owned by Kudos and the BBC.

**A/N: **Thanks to all who take a moment to leave a review. I appreciate each of them and enjoy reading your comments.

* * *

><p><em>Thursday, 3 March 2005<em>

Ruth woke to her phone beeping incessantly. Wanting to end the noise she grabbed the phone from her nightstand and hit the button. Knowing it was a red flash she gave herself a minute to think before she called in. Fragments of her argument with Harry floated through her mind and her emotions were all over the board; anger, frustration, sadness, and embarrassment were just a few of the things she felt, especially embarrassment.

'Well, if Harry is red flashing me I guess he isn't ready to fire me just yet,' she thought as she dialed the phone to respond.

"Ruth, there is a car on its way to pick you up and I need you here on the Grid ASAP," Adam said as he answered the phone.

"Adam, I know this will sound daft, but are you sure that Harry wants me there? It's just that..."

"Ruth, be ready to leave your house when the car arrives. I need you on the Grid."

She could hear Adam calling out orders at others already in his vicinity.

"Adam, what's happened?"

"Harry's been taken, Ruth, and the sooner you get here the sooner we find him." Adam hung up the phone, leaving Ruth staring at her phone in shock.

* * *

><p>Once the core team had arrived, they gathered in the Briefing Room to be updated on the situation by Adam.<p>

"Harry's security officer arrived at his home at 0600 hours and noted immediately that the front door was not secured. He entered the home and conducted a search, finding signs of a struggle in the front entry and the kitchen. Blood was present, but not enough to indicate a severe wound or fatal injury."

Ruth inhaled sharply. Malcolm, who was seated next to Ruth, took note of her reaction.

"An alert was immediately issued for Harry. We will be following our standard procedure - Malcolm, you and Colin check CCTV. Zoe, review the active and recent cases to see if there is anyone with a grudge against Harry, plus check to see if there are any recent parolees that may have an axe to grind. Sam, look at phone and email records and Ruth, get on with GCHQ to see if there is any pertinent chatter. Ruth will also be coordinating all the information on our end so please share what you have with her. Danny and I are heading to Harry's house for an update and to see the scene for ourselves. We'll meet back here at 11 for an update."

Everyone except Ruth and Malcolm quickly dispersed, leaving them standing alone in the Briefing Room.

"Ruth, are you okay? You seem out of sorts," he asked.

"I… We… I can't talk about this right now. I need to find Harry," she said before leaving the room.

* * *

><p><em>Friday, 4 March 2005<em>

It was a frantic but futile day, leaving the Grid frustrated as they passed the 24 hour mark of Harry's abduction. The visit to Harry's home hadn't turned up anything other than a dog named Scarlet, according to her collar. Adam dropped her off at home for Fiona and Wes to look after in the meantime.

CCTV showed a nondescript car leaving Harry's neighborhood around the likely time of the abduction but the particular make, model, and color so general that it was little help in the search. Malcolm and Colin had started to trace Harry's movements from just before his abduction to see if they could find anything that might help them.

Zoe had a few possible leads with recent cases and parolees and Sam with suspicious emails but nothing the team had found stood out as the likely reason for Harry's disappearance. Frustration was boiling over and Adam sent Zoe, Colin, and Sam home to sleep for a few hours.

Malcolm and Ruth were in the kitchen for a fresh cup of tea, hoping it would help them get through the next six hours or so until they could head home for a break.

"Ruth, I need to admit to something," Malcolm started. "I overheard you and Harry on Wednesday night. I was nearly back to my desk when you stormed out of his office and left the Grid." He didn't know if she wanted to talk about it, but he would give her an opening.

"Oh, Malcolm, I behaved so badly. I said absolutely horrible things to him. My God, I called him a bastard and told him I never wanted to see him again!" She drew in a shaky breath in an effort to control her emotions.

"May I ask what the disagreement was about?"

Ruth broke out into a strangled laugh. "You're always so polite, Malcolm. That was not a disagreement; it was an argument, and I'm surprised he didn't fire me on the spot." Ruth took a moment to try and regain her composure. "I turned in an S24 form; I've been seeing someone for the past six weeks. When I met him, I was using a legend but I want him to know my real name. Anyway, Harry went ballistic and it didn't take long to escalate into a screaming match."

Malcolm looked confused. "Why would Harry be so angry about you turning in an S24?" When she didn't immediately respond, Malcolm realized it must have something to do with who Ruth had been seeing. "Ruth, who have you been dating? Who was it that made Harry so angry?"

"John Fortescue, the man we met at the Scratch Requiem, the man from the source tapes."

"Ruth! No wonder Harry was so mad."

"I didn't set out for anything to happen. A few days after my hearing, I had a Saturday off and I went to the National Gallery. I was sitting on a bench admiring a van Gogh and he sat on the same bench. He recognized me from the concert and we started talking and the next I knew I'd spent an amazing day at the gallery and then we were having dinner. One thing led to another but he knows me as Susan. I want him to know me as Ruth and I want to explore a relationship with him. Malcolm, is that so wrong?"

"But he's someone that Five monitors because of his work. Are you going to be honest with him about that?" he asked. "Are you going to tell him how you engineered your first meeting?"

"I don't know. And he may very well never want to see me again when he finds out that I'm really Ruth Evershed but I care enough about him to take that risk, Malcolm. I didn't set out to find John and see him again but it happened." Ruth took a deep breath. "None of that matters right now. We have to get back to finding Harry," she said as she started to walk out of the room.

"Ruth?"

She paused her movement but didn't turn around.

"Everything will work itself out."

Ruth nodded before continuing back to her desk.

* * *

><p>Several hours after she went home to sleep, Ruth's computer signalled that the search had ended, the results of which were displayed on screen. Colin shared the information with Zoe, who asked him to call in Ruth to help translate the results. When Colin's calls to Ruth went unanswered he notified Zoe and attempted to find her mobile signal.<p>

"What do you mean she's not answering her phone? You've tried home and mobile?" Zoe asked.

"Yes, and a check of her mobile location shows no location, meaning the phone is turned off or has been destroyed."

"Call Adam and Danny and have them meet at Ruth's home. Call Malcolm back to the Grid; if we have a second person to look for we're going to need his help. I'm going to see if I can make sense of these search results," Zoe said as she sat at Ruth's desk.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

**Disclaimer:** Spooks is owned by Kudos and the BBC.

**A/N:** Thank you again for your reviews and kind words. This chapter ended up a bit on the long side, but I hope you won't mind.

* * *

><p><em>Friday, 4 March 2005<em>

The first thing Ruth was aware of was the quiet. There was no noise around her and for a moment she wondered if she'd lost her hearing. Then she heard Harry whispering into her ear.

"Ruth, are you alright? Please wake up, Ruth," his voice urged quietly.

She tried to raise her hands to her head but they wouldn't move. She opened her eyes, blinking rapidly as she adjusted to the light. She was seated in a chair with her hands chained behind her. Harry was in a chair to her right in the same situation.

"Harry, what's going on? How did I get here?"

"You've been here a few hours. I haven't seen anyone since they brought you in and chained you to the chair. Do you have any injuries that you can tell?" he asked, worried about how she'd been treated.

"My head hurts; it feels foggy," she started.

"They probably used chloroform to knock you out. It's what they used on me. The fog will clear in a few hours. Anything else?"

Ruth took a few moments to do a physical inventory of her body. Her limbs all moved when she tried to move them, though trying to move her left ankle caused her to gasp out loud.

"What's wrong?"

"Left ankle hurts," she said before leaning over as far as she could to look at it. She raised her left leg out in front of her but the view was mostly obscured by her long skirt. Lifting her right knee brought the skirt up enough so she could see the swollen joint and bruising starting to show above her sock. She lowered both legs back to the ground. "It's sprained, I think. No other injuries that I can tell." She turned to look at Harry for the first time and was surprised to see the extent of his injuries. A cut above his left ear, a black eye, and swollen lips were just the injuries she could see.

"What did they do to you?" she asked.

"I put up a fight when they took me. They haven't hurt me since except for a few slaps when I wouldn't answer their questions," he replied.

"Have they said what they want, what they are after?" she asked, trying to see if she could connect any information Harry had with the searches she'd been running on the a Grid.

"No and all their questions have to do with someone named Henry Price. This may all be a case of mistaken identity," he added.

"If they grabbed you by mistake, why take me?" Ruth wondered.

"That's the only part that doesn't make sense. Did this group make any demands?"

Ruth shook her head. "We didn't hear anything. I was running a few searches and had gone home to get some sleep when I was taken. What time is it do you think? The Grid may not know I'm gone; they may still think I'm home sleeping."

"You've been here several hours; it must be late afternoon by now."

"I'm due back at the Grid soon, so they should figure out I've been taken as well."

"Where were you when they grabbed you?"

"I'd just gotten home and was making myself a piece of toast before going to sleep. I was standing in the kitchen," she trailed off, trying to remember what happened. "That must have been when they grabbed me," she said, "because I don't remember anything after that."

Harry nodded as he considered this information. Before he had a chance for any more discussion the door to the room opened and several men entered, their faces covered and all but one with guns in hand. The unarmed man crouched behind Ruth's chair, unlocking the chains that held her wrists.

"Move," he said as he prodded Ruth in the shoulder.

She gingerly stood, keeping any weight off her left ankle. "My ankle is injured, I'm not sure I can walk," she said in an even voice.

The man simply prodded her in the shoulder again before saying, "Move."

Harry watched as Ruth hobbled to the door before glancing back at him as she disappeared from view.

* * *

><p>Adam was speaking with a Special Branch Officer when Danny arrived.<p>

"Thanks for the update. Here's my contact information if anything else comes up," Adam said before the officer turned and left the room.

"What do we know?" Danny asked.

"Door was closed but unsecured when Special Branch arrived. Signs of a struggle in the kitchen but no blood. Ruth's handbag is here, along with her wallet."

Danny nodded. "We need Malcolm and Colin to check CCTV and see if Ruth was followed home," he added. "Do you want me to call in the update?"

Adam shook his head. "I'll take care of it. Can you check in with the Special Branch officer in charge and make sure they know that anything they find in processing the scene goes to Thames House?"

"Will do."

Danny turned to leave the kitchen and found his path blocked by the same officer Adam had been speaking to before.

"Sir, we have a gentleman outside saying he's here to visit a Susan Hepburn. Says he's her boyfriend and wants to know what's going on."

Danny and Adam shared a look, neither knowing anything about Ruth having a significant other.

"We'll be right out to speak with him. Thank you," Adam replied.

After the office was outside the house, Adam answered the unasked question. "I didn't know she was seeing anyone, did you?"

Danny shook his head. "No, but now that I think about it Zoe mentioned that Ruth had dinner plans a few times with a friend, so maybe this is still new. Easy way to find out," he said.

"Let's go talk to him."

The men stepped outside and joined the officer just inside the cordoned-off area, where the officer introduced the man.

"This is John Fortescue and he says he's dating Susan Hepburn, who lives at this address. I've run his license and he's clean."

"Thank you, officer. We'll take it from here," Adam added with a smile.

"Hello, I'm Nick Harding from Metropolitan Police and this is my associate, Chris Gordon."

"The officer said you know the woman who lives here?" Danny asked.

The man nodded. "My girlfriend, Susan Hepburn."

Danny showed the man a photo that Special Branch had of Ruth. "Is this Ms Hepburn?"

John nodded. "Yes, that's her. Can you tell me what's happened? I'm starting to get concerned."

"Ms Hepburn didn't show up for work today when expected. We're investigating what may have happened. When was the last time you saw her?" Adam inquired.

"It was Sunday, what was that? The 27th. We spent the day at my place. I left town on Monday for a conference in York. I'm just back today; I thought I'd surprise her," John said. "I have a voice mail from her this morning. Said she'd pulled an all-nighter due to an emergency at work and she was headed home for some sleep before she had to go back in later today. But if she didn't turn up for work, was she lying to me in the message?"

"We're not sure, but that's what we need to investigate. We'll need your phone so we can analyze that message. What time did she leave the message?" Danny asked.

John pulled out his phone and clicked through the prompts to play the message. "It says it was left at 11:13."

Danny reached out his hand, indicating that John should give him the phone, but John hesitated.

"I have no problem with you taking the phone to analyze the message but is there any way I can get the phone back quickly? My employer provides the phone and since I've been out of town most of the week I expect my boss will be calling me about everything I need to get up to speed on," John explained.

"Where do you work?" Danny asked.

"I work for the City as an economic analyst. I can follow you back to the office and wait while you get what you need off the phone if that's okay," John added.

Adam and Danny exchanged a look before Danny responded. "We need to check. The phone wouldn't go with us to the office; it needs to go to the lab for analysis." Danny motioned from one of the plods to come over.

"Officer Williams, can you please collect Mr Fortescue's contact information for me? We'll need to get in touch with him about this missing person's case."

Turning to John, he asked, "Can you please give this officer your information while I make a phone call?"

John nodded in response as Adam and Danny moved over to Adam's car.

"So Ruth has been seeing this guy using a legend. Harry hasn't mentioned approving an S24 form for Ruth, so she hasn't had him vetted but his name is familiar for some reason. Call Malcolm and update him. I'll be right back and then we can head to the Grid," Adam said before moving off.

Danny pulled out his mobile and noted a few new voicemails. He listened to those first, in case there was any new information about Harry or Ruth. The first was from Zoe, asking if he had an update for her and the second message was from an unknown number. For a moment Danny was hopeful that the message would have good news until he heard, "We believe you are owed some money back for being mis-sold PPI. Please call us at..." Danny deleted the message in annoyance since it wasn't helpful towards finding Harry or Ruth and that it appeared his mobile number was now in the hands of marketers. As he dialed the Grid, he wondered if it would be in poor form to ask Colin to hack a few of these marketing firms and delete their entire call lists.

"Malcolm, we're at Ruth's home. Just like with Harry there are signs of a struggle but in this case no blood thankfully. Listen, there's some guy here says he's dating Susan Hepburn, obviously one of Ruth's legends. He has a message from her from before noon so I'm bringing the phone in for analysis but he needs it back for work fairly quickly. How long will you need the phone?" Danny paused to wait for an answer. "I'll let him know. Oh, and his name is John Fortescue. Run a search on him; Adam and I are headed back to the Grid." Danny paused again as Malcolm insistently started speaking. "You have got to be kidding me. Yeah, okay."

Danny tapped the end button and turned around to find John right behind him.

"Oh, hi. Can I take your phone now? The tech says we can have it back to you in the morning." Danny wondered how much of his conversation the man overheard.

"I'll let you take my phone if you can explain something to me. The officer taking my contact information mentioned that the home is owned by Ruth Evershed. I thought that meant that Susan was letting the place from this Ruth, but then I overheard you say that 'Susan Hepburn was one of Ruth's legends.' What does that mean? Who is Ruth Evershed? Is Susan a fake name? I want to know what I've become involved in and I suggest you tell me now."

Adam overheard most of the conversation. "Mr Fortescue, come with us. We'll explain when we get back to the office."

John shook his head. "I'm not going anywhere with you unless you tell me who you are and what's going on."

Adam took a moment to consider his options. "We are with the Security Services and are investigating the disappearance of this woman. Please come with us. You may have some information that could help us locate her." Adam extended his arm in the direction of his car, hoping that Mr Fortescue would cooperate.

"Am I a suspect?" John asked.

"Not at this time. We will need to verify your story about the conference in York, however. Now please, come with us." Adam's tone was friendly but firm and John reluctantly complied.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

**Disclaimer:** Spooks is owned by Kudos and the BBC.

**A/N:** Once again, thank you for your reviews. I appreciate each one.

* * *

><p>"We now have two abductions and very little to go on," Adam announced to the officers gathered in the Briefing Room. "Let's start with Harry's. What do we know?"<p>

Malcolm jumped in first. "It appears that he has been followed several times leading up to his abduction. We're working backwards through CCTV based on Harry's schedule to see if we can find a plate number or get a useful picture."

"How many people are involved?" Zoe asked.

"At least three," Colin replied. "Our best guess is that they are Eastern European, based on feedback from the facial recognition software."

"That ties in with the information we received from GCHQ. They've been hearing chatter from a group out of the Balkans about revenge against someone from the security services. We don't have a name except a mention of someone named Henry and repeated mentions of the cost of something," Zoe added.

"Harry's given name is Henry, though I don't know that he's ever been called that in his career," Malcolm noted.

"So it could be a connection or it might be nothing," Zoe said.

Adam nodded. "Let's not discount it just yet. And Ruth's abduction? What do we have on that?"

Malcolm shared the results of his search on John Fortescue, noting that his story about a conference in York checks out. "Because he is someone that we regularly listen in on, he's fully vetted."

"How is that Ruth came to be dating one of our sources? Just bad luck?" Zoe asked.

Adam shook his head in response. "It's not important right now and I don't believe it has any bearing on her abduction, but we can't fully discount the possibility. We need to check CCTV for Ruth and see if she was followed as well. Run a search on any events where Harry and Ruth attended publicly, or any meetings they may have attended together. It's not a coincidence that they've both been taken."

Malcolm noted that the CCTV searches surrounding Ruth's previous days were already underway.

"Good. Danny and I are going downstairs to have a chat with Mr Fortescue to see what he knows. We'll reconvene here in two hours," Adam said as he stood to leave.

"Adam, one last thing," Malcolm said as everyone else filed out of the room, save Danny.

"What is it?" Adam asked.

"The night Harry was taken, before he left the office, he had a fight with Ruth."

"A fight?" Danny exclaimed. "About what?"

"Ruth submitted an S24 form to Harry, for permission to see John Fortescue. I walked onto the Grid at the tail end, when Ruth called him a bastard, told him she never wanted to see him again, and stormed off the Grid. I don't know that it has any bearing on their disappearances, but I thought you should know before you question Mr Fortescue," Malcolm said.

Adam nodded. "Thanks for the heads up."

"Oh, and, err, when Ruth first met him, at a Scratch Requiem, I attended with her, as her brother, Giles."

Adam and Danny both raised their eyebrows at that and Malcolm quickly clarified that Harry had received a full report in the day following the event. He promised that he'd finish pulling the data from Fortescue's phone shortly and have it ready for him to take home.

Adam thanked him again before heading downstairs with Danny. "Did you know anything about this?" he asked, knowing that Danny and Ruth were close.

Danny shook his head. "No. I think it happened when Zoe and I were dealing with Newland. Ruth never said anything to me about any of this."

* * *

><p>The door to the room opened and Ruth stumbled through, falling to the floor after a shove from one of their captors. Harry heard the lock engage but was glad to see that they hadn't bothered to chain Ruth to the chair. He watched her slowly push herself to a seated position. He couldn't see any new injuries, though that didn't mean she hadn't been hurt.<p>

"Are you all right? Did they hurt you?" He left it at those two questions so as to not overwhelm her.

Ruth nodded. "I'm okay. They slapped me a few times, but nothing terrible." She finally turned to look at him. "I think you're right, though," she said as she slowly stood. "They asked me how I knew Henry Price and what my connection to him was." She hobbled over and sat in the chair next to Harry. "I asked them why they took me and I got an interesting answer."

Harry raised an eyebrow in response. "What did they say?"

"Apparently they have been watching you for a couple of weeks. One night they were waiting outside Thames House and they saw you leave by the doors along Millbank, so they followed you and realised you were following me. That's why they grabbed me, Harry, because you followed me and now they think there's something between us!"

Harry dropped his head and closed his eyes.

Ruth took a deep breath, getting herself back in control. "Harry, I remember that night. John picked me up at Smith Square because I supposedly work for DEFRA. Why did you follow me?"

Harry noted that her tone was even and she seemed more curious about why he'd followed her than mad. "It was a spur of the moment thing. You'd made some comments about dinner dates and I felt like there was more to the story so, yes I followed you. I saw you get into a car with a man, though at the time I had no idea who he was. I assume that was John Fortescue, the man you want permission to see."

Ruth nodded before responding, "Yes, that was John."

Both were quiet for a moment as they pondered what to say next. It was Harry that spoke first.

"Were you honest with me, during your disciplinary hearing? I seem to recall you saying that you would never see him again."

Ruth nodded again. "I was honest. After the Scratch Requiem I never expected to see him again. I had no intention of tracking him down or trying to run into him someplace. The hearing was humiliating enough; I didn't need to be rejected by John again to add to that."

"So tell me how, and when, it started," Harry said. "It's not like I can go anywhere else." He lifted his hands a few inches and let the rattle of the chains emphasize his point.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

**Disclaimer:** Spooks is owned by Kudos and the BBC.

**A/N:** Again, thank you for your reviews.

* * *

><p>Aside from a complete history of his dating life with Ruth, the interview with Fortescue didn't reveal anything that might clue them in to her disappearance. The man was bright enough to figure out that given the location of the interview that Ruth, or Susan as he'd known her, likely worked for the Security Services in some manner and he wasn't happy about not being given any answers.<p>

Adam couldn't really blame the guy for being upset. Discovering that your girlfriend has disappeared and has another identity is something out of a BBC drama, not real life. They collected Mr Fortescue's contact information and agreed to update him on the situation in exchange for assurances that should he hear from Ruth, he would contact Adam immediately.

As the lift doors shut behind them as they ascended to the Grid, Danny voiced a question. "Now that John somewhat knows the truth about Ruth, do you think they'll survive this ordeal?"

Adam shrugged as the doors opened again. "No idea, but I'll worry about whether Ruth and Harry survive their ordeal first. Her relationship with John won't matter if she doesn't."

* * *

><p>Ruth detailed for Harry her run-in with John at the National Gallery and their relationship since then.<p>

"So when you saw him at the museum, why didn't you leave? You just said you didn't want to be rejected by him again," Harry asked.

"Initially I was being polite. I told myself that I didn't want to draw attention by being rude. And honestly, the idea of walking around the National Gallery with someone who was willing to talk about art and music and literature was something I'd always envisioned doing. I know, it sounds like something someone who is young and idealistic would wish for, but at one point in my life I did wish for that and so I jumped at the chance. I never thought it would lead to anything more. I truly believed we would part ways that day and never see one another again.

"Why would you think that?"

"Because there's little reason for me to think otherwise. I haven't had a lot of success in romantic relationships. I had one that started shortly after university and lasted two years until he got a job in London and didn't bother to give me his new address or phone number. Since then, the few men that I've been on dates with turned out to be after something I wasn't ready for. John is the first man I've dated that's treated me well. We have similar interests and we talk and debate and laugh and other times we're content to just be in the same room as one another." Ruth paused to take a breath and the next sentence followed in a quiet voice. "I wanted to take the next step in our relationship but I can't do that when he thinks my name is Susan."

Harry knew that wasn't an easy admission for Ruth. The next questioned popped into his head and he found himself asking before he fully thought it through. "Do you love him?" he inquired.

Ruth didn't answer right away and Harry didn't push her. When she spoke, her voice was clouded with emotion. "I think I might. I do know it's not fair to John for us to be together when he doesn't know my real name, but I'm absolutely terrified that he will walk away and I'll have lost my only chance at happiness."

"Ruth, you don't know that's true," Harry gently protested.

"I'm nearly 35 years old, Harry. At my yearly medical last summer my doctor asked me if I was planning to have children. Hadn't thought much about it before then but now I notice babies and kids everywhere." Her voice had become strained and she paused. "I think I want to be a mum but I'm afraid I'll never have the chance. I'm nearly too old as it is."

Ruth's voice trailed off as Harry watched her wipe a tear from her eye. As he watched her, a strange emotion moved through him that he couldn't quite identify, nor was this the first time it had happened. He'd felt a strong urge to protect her ever since she'd first been brought into the room, though he'd passed that off to her being his officer and his desire to protect his officers. But as Ruth sniffled and wiped away a tear, he realized it was more than that. He tried to imagine being in the same situation with Zoe and while he would have felt the same urge to protect her, he instinctively knew that there was a difference in how he viewed Zoe and Ruth, but he wasn't sure he was ready to acknowledge those feelings.

"Ruth, I'm hardly one to give relationship advice given that I couldn't even hold my marriage together for more than a few years but I think you are being too hard on yourself. I don't know how I'd react to a woman I'd been seeing telling me she actually goes by a different name but at least you have a valid reason for doing so. I would think that should work in your favour," Harry noted.

"Does this mean you've changed your mind about signing the form?" she asked, looking up to him.

"I can't give you an answer, Ruth. I never had the opportunity to have the background run on him," he started.

"But he's fully vetted!" she interjected.

"I'm aware of that but there are other considerations that have to be made. Because he's one of our sources, the form requires the approval of not only me but the DG as well."

"I can already guess the outcome of this request," she muttered in resignation.

"Ruth, first we need to worry about getting ourselves out of this situation safely. Then you can let the process happen and worry about what to do if the request is rejected. Okay?"

She nodded, knowing he was right.

Harry nudged her with his shoulder. "Okay, we need to figure out if there's any way out of this room. I know your ankle is hurting, but can you manage to check the door and the perimeter of the room to see if there's anything that can help us?"

Just as Ruth was about to get up they could hear the heavy lock disengaging before the door opened. One of their captors entered the room and grabbed Ruth by the arm, pulling her up and moving her towards the door as another two men approached Harry. One stood over him while the other crouched behind the chair to release the chains. Once free, Harry was guided through the door as well. He could see Ruth ahead of him in the corridor, limping as fast as her sprained ankle would allow and he wondered what was coming next for them.

* * *

><p>Sam walked quickly around the Grid, asking everyone if they'd seen Adam. Finally someone pointed her in the direction of the loos, so she planted herself across from the door and waited for his exit. He wasn't even completely through the door before Sam started talking.<p>

"GCHQ intercepted more chatter from our East European friends. This time they mentioned a full name, 'Henry Price' but nothing else helpful," Sam said as they headed back to the Grid.

"Who's Henry Price?" Adam asked.

"No idea. Malcolm is running a search now. Remember before the intercepts mentioned someone named Henry…" she trailed off.

"… and the cost of something? Or Price," he added, finally understanding. Adam finished. "So is this someone they are looking for? If so, who is he?"

Sam shook her head. "Don't know. We'll let you know when we do."

About five minutes later she called Adam over to Malcolm's desk. "We found him."

"That was fast. Who is he?"

Malcolm read from his computer screen. "Henry Price, age 56, works across the river at Legoland in their Balkans section. Returned last summer from a five year posting to Six's Sarajevo office."

Adam looked from Malcolm to Sam then back to Malcolm. "Do we have a picture?"

Malcolm turned swiveled his monitor to allow Adam to see the photo.

"Could it really be so stupid?" he muttered as Danny walked past the desk. "Danny, come hear this. Malcolm, tell him."

Malcolm repeated the information.

Adam pointed to the photo on Malcolm's screen. Danny looked at Adam with a confused look on his face. "That's not Harry but there are similarities. Does that mean what I think it means?" he asked.

Adam nodded in confirmation. "They grabbed the wrong guy."


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

**Disclaimer: **Spooks is owned by Kudos and the BBC.

**A/N:** Again, thank you for your continued support. Sorry this chapter is a short one, but we're in the home stretch of this story.

* * *

><p><em>Saturday, 5 March 2005<em>

Both Harry and Ruth had their hands restrained with zip ties behind their back. They were not so gently pushed into the back of a small lorry with no windows and only a small light on the wall above their heads. The vehicle lumbered along as Harry helped Ruth to a sitting position along the front wall of the cargo area.

"Harry, what do you think is going to happen next?" Ruth asked, her voice not hiding the fear she felt.

"I wish I knew Ruth, I wish I knew. But we have to be ready for anything, okay? If you see a chance to escape, you take it and you don't look back." Harry knew she wouldn't want to leave him behind but he tried to convince her anyway.

"I'm the one with a sprained ankle, I'm not going anywhere fast," she replied.

Harry leaned himself closer to her. "You'd be surprised what your body can do when the adrenaline hits. Promise me, Ruth. Look at me and promise me that if you have the chance to get away you will take it and not stay behind for me."

Ruth swallowed before raising her eyes up to Harry.

"Promise me. Get away and get to a phone and call the Grid. They'll be able to track you and call emergency services," Harry said, his tone not leaving any room for negotiation.

Finally Ruth nodded. "Okay, but you have to promise me the same. Don't give me a line about needing to protect me. I trust your judgement, Harry, and if the logical choice is for you to run and get help, you have to do so. Promise me," she added.

Harry opened his mouth to argue but reconsidered at the look on Ruth's face. "Okay, but I'm agreeing under protest, just so you know," he added with a slight smile as he tried to lighten the situation.

They estimated they'd been driving for more than an hour when the lorry slowed to a stop. Before the back door opened Harry looked to Ruth. "Remember our agreement," he whispered as the door started to open.

"You too," she said before a light shone into the back.

"You! Get out!" a voice yelled from outside.

Harry and Ruth struggled to stand quickly, especially Ruth with her injured ankle. They moved to the back of the lorry where they were expected to jump out on their own. Harry didn't see any weapons, which eased some of his concerns but he didn't fully let his guard down. He turned around to watch Ruth jump from the back and winced as she landed with a cry of pain before falling to the ground.

Harry looked around, trying to get a sense of where they were, but he couldn't see anything due to the torches each of their captors was using. He watched as the rear door of the lorry was closed and secured before the men climbed into the cab, leaving Harry and Ruth behind on their own.

They looked at one another, not quite believing what just happened.

"I suppose we should be thankful they didn't shoot us," Harry noted.

"Yes, well dumping us in what appears to be a wooded area is better. Too bad it's the middle of the night and cold," Ruth replied.

As their eyes adjusted to the darkness, they took in their surroundings. "I see some lights, but they are quite a distance away. We're on a service road of some sort..." he said, trailing off as he continued to look around for any hint as to which direction would be the best to go. Looking up, Harry added, "And it's a cloudy night so celestial navigation is out of the question." After one last glance around, he turned back to Ruth. "Pick a direction and let's start walking. Hopefully we'll come across someone or some sign of civilization soon."

Ruth lifted her chin to the right and the pair started slowly down the road, as fast as Ruth's ankle would allow.

An hour or so later, they came to a clearing and were thrilled to see more lights in the distance. Unfortunately, the road ended and went either left or right. The land straight ahead of them was barricaded with a tall chain link with barbed wire on top.

"I made the choice last time; now it's your turn," Ruth said as they surveyed the choice before them.

"This way," Harry said, indicating to his right. "I think the lights are closer this way." As they continued along the road, Harry looked to his left, through to the fenced area. "This area is vaguely familiar, but I'm not sure why," he said. "Based on the type of fence, it may be a military installation or something similar."

"Do you think you've been here before? Or does it just remind you of someplace else?" Ruth asked. Her ankle had gone numb a while back and she knew that once they reached a place where she could sit and rest she probably wouldn't be able to walk on it again for some time.

"I'm not sure. I feel like I've been here, but if I have, it hasn't been in many years." Just then he could see a sign on the fence a few feet in front of them. "Maybe that sign will help," he added.

Knowing Ruth didn't want to stop, Harry jogged ahead and stepped off the road to get closer and be able to read the sign. Once he did so, he started to laugh.

"What's so funny?" Ruth asked as she approached Harry, who'd stepped back onto the road.

"We're outside Sandhurst, where I did my military training. No wonder it looked familiar, though it's been 35 years since I've been here on the training fields. And unless they've changed the layout, those lights ahead should be a gate. Hopefully they still have someone on duty who can call for assistance," he said as they continued on the dark road, their spirits lightened somewhat.

* * *

><p>Hours later, Harry and Ruth were settled in a private patient room at the local infirmary when the door opened and Adam walked in the room.<p>

"Anyone here need a ride back to London?" he asked, eliciting a smile from both his coworkers.

"As long as it's not in the back of a lorry, I'm all for it," Ruth said as she moved to get off the bed. Her ankle had been sprained but with all the walking she'd aggravated the injury, leaving her with a well-wrapped ankle. Harry stood quickly to move the wheelchair in place for her to use as she left the hospital.

"Are you okay, Ruth, other than the ankle?" Adam inquired.

She nodded as she settled in the chair. "I'll be fine. It's just a bad sprain, though I may need to get some crutches so I can make it to work on Monday."

Adam smiled at the look that crossed Harry's face. He moved behind the wheelchair to push her out, allowing Harry to walk alongside.

"We'll discuss your time off for recovery when on the drive home, Ruth," Harry said, his tone clearly indicating that he didn't agree with her plans.

Adam continued to smile, just happy to have his coworkers back safe.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

**Disclaimer: **Spooks is owned by Kudos and the BBC.

**A/N:** Again, thank you for your reviews.

* * *

><p>The car took them straight back to the Grid, despite a protest from Harry, who felt that Ruth should be allowed to rest first. She argued that she could rest in the car and that she'd rather go to the Grid and complete her debriefing. Despite being the senior ranking officer in the vehicle, Harry lost the argument. Once their destination was determined, Ruth laid her head against the side of the car and closed her eyes. It only took a few minutes for her to fall asleep.<p>

Harry watched as she drifted off, purposely not saying anything until he was certain she was sleeping. "Are they in custody?" Harry had been briefed on the situation over the phone with Danny earlier while Ruth was having her ankle examined.

Adam shook his head. "Not yet. We think they released you and Ruth because they realized they had the wrong guy, so we've placed a security team on Henry Price. They'll keep a low profile and hope to draw these guys out."

Harry nodded in understanding. "Do we know why they want Price, and why they thought I was him?"

"We suspect it has something to do with the work Price did in Sarajevo trying to infiltrate Balkan crime syndicates. He was rather successful and apparently left a large network in place. As to how they thought you were him, we're not sure. Based on the intercepts from GCHQ, it might be as simple as them not knowing the difference between the Secret Intelligence Service and the Security Services."

Harry was quiet for a few moments as he digested this information. "Adam, call the Grid and have Danny ready to do Ruth's interview. I want her there for the minimum amount of time. She's never been through something like this before and it's going to be tough on her."

Adam nodded from his seat opposite Harry and opened his mobile to contact the Grid. After a brief conversation he said, "The Grid will be ready for your return and Danny will take Ruth home when her debrief is complete."

Harry nodded in acknowledgment.

Adam stole a glance at Ruth, to ensure she was still asleep. "Harry, there's something you need to know. When Danny and I visited Ruth's house after her abduction, John Fortescue showed up. We tried to play it that we were from the Met, investigating her disappearance, but one of the plods, meant to be collecting Fortescue's contact information, mentioned that the home was owned by Ruth Evershed. Fortescue knew Ruth as Susan Hepburn so he approached Danny to ask him about Ruth Evershed. Unfortunately, he approached Danny from behind and overheard him say that Susan Hepburn was one of Ruth's legends."

"Christ," Harry muttered, raising his hand to rub his forehead.

"Long story short, John Fortescue knows that Susan Hepburn is really Ruth Evershed and that she works in some capacity for Five. He's a bright guy so trying to spin him a story just wasn't going to work. He's signed the Official Secrets Act but even so I only told him the bare minimum."

"I'm sure you know that Ruth turned in an S24 for John Fortescue," Harry said.

"I found the form on your desk, but only because I went looking for it. Malcolm told me that Ruth turned in the form."

"How did he know?" Harry asked.

"Ruth told him. She felt bad about your argument," Adam noted.

"Well, she shouldn't. I handled the situation poorly," Harry admitted.

"Should I have Danny contact John Fortescue and let him know that Ruth is safe?"

Harry thought for a moment before speaking. "Yes, but no details. Just that she'll be back home later today."

* * *

><p>Ruth stood in the doorway, watching Danny walk to his car. As he climbed in, he waved goodbye and she returned the gesture. Before closing the door, she took note of the protection detail parked on her street. Until the men who'd taken her and Harry were apprehended, Harry had assigned a detail to keep a watch over her snd her home. She closed and locked the door before she hobbled up the stairs. Entering her bathroom, she turned on the shower as hot as it would go. As the steam filled the bathroom, she stripped off the layers of grimy clothes, dropping them in a pile. She looked in the mirror and saw a few bruises on her body from being pushed around. Thankfully she didn't have any serious injuries besides her ankle.<p>

Stepping under the water, she hissed at the heat but waited for her body to adjust. After scrubbing herself clean, she stepped out of the shower, dried off, and climbed into bed. She had a fleeting thought about calling John but was sound asleep soon after.

Several hours later, Ruth woke to her phone ringing. She was still half asleep and answered the call without checking to see who was calling. Her voice was thick from sleep as she managed to creak out a greeting.

"Susan? This is John."

That woke her up quickly.

"John, I'm so glad to hear your voice."

"I'm… I'm glad you're back home. Can I come over and talk to you? I can be there in an hour," he said."

"That's fine. We do need to talk," she responded. "I'll see you in an hour."

Ruth laid her head back down and wondered what John would say to her. She knew that he'd found out her real name and that she worked for Five; Danny had filled her in on that development at the end of her debrief. 'I guess it doesn't matter if my S24 was going to be approved or not,' she thought. Reaching down to scratch an itch on her stomach, she realized she was still naked and decided getting out of bed and dressed was a good place to start.

John was prompt as usual and she welcomed him into her home. Instead of a warm embrace however there was only awkward tension.

"Are you all right?" he asked after seeing her hobble down the hallway.

"I'll be fine. It's just a bad sprain," she replied. "Come through to the sitting room. Can I get you some tea? I've got the water heated so it's no trouble," she said.

John nodded. "Tea's fine. But let me get it. You shouldn't be standing. Is your tea prepared already?" he asked.

"No, I was just about to do so when the bell rang," Ruth said.

John gave her a slight smile. "I'll bring yours through. Go and sit down," he said before disappearing into her kitchen.

A minute later he handed her a steaming mug of Jasmine tea with milk and sugar. She could smell his Earl Gray tea as he moved to stand by the fireplace before he set the mug on the mantle, allowing it to cool slightly. Ruth was settled on the sofa, dreading the coming conversation.

"I guess I should start with the obvious question. Should I call you Susan or Ruth?"

"Ruth, please. It's my given name."

"So what was Susan? Why did you tell me that was your name?" Before Ruth could answer, John continued. "I'm assuming they told you that I found out about your name."

Ruth nodded. "Yes. When I returned to London I was taken to Thames House to be debriefed; to give my story and statement about what happened. They told me then that you had been interviewed and signed the Official Secrets Act, that you knew my real name," she said. "It wasn't how I wanted you to find out."

John forced a laugh. "Tell me, is there a good way to find out your girlfriend has been lying to you about her name and her job?"

Ruth knew then and there that her relationship with John was over. She could tell by the tone of his voice that this was something he wouldn't be able to get past. She swallowed her tears and decided to be honest with him, as best she could, but she knew she wouldn't be able to answer all of his questions.

"No, I suppose there isn't. I wasn't dishonest about my feelings for you, though. Just before this happened, I submitted the paperwork for permission to tell you the truth," she replied.

"Can you tell me what happened these past couple of days? Is being abducted a normal part of your job?" he asked, a hint of sarcasm coming through at the end of his question.

"No, it's not a normal part of my job and it was the first time it happened to me." She tried to take a deep breath; strong emotions from her abduction and her relationship with John were causing her chest to constrict. After a few moments, she was able to take a normal breath. "I can't give you details but it was a case of mistaken identity. A group of men thought my boss was someone else; someone with a similar name. They watched him for a couple of weeks before taking him and one day they saw us walking to a meeting at Whitehall, so they took me as well. They figured out their error because last night they let us go," she said.

"You didn't say why you introduced yourself as Susan. Surely you're not expected to give everyone you meet a fake name."

She watched as John sipped his tea before moving across the room to sit in a chair opposite her. She couldn't tell him the entire truth; that Five had his office bugged in order to keep tabs on people who contacted him. If he insisted in knowing about Susan, she'd still have to lie. He sat back in the chair, awaiting an answer.

"That day at lunch, I had planned to meet someone, but it wasn't my brother. It was someone who was supposed to give me some information. All this person knew was that he was meeting a woman named Susan at the restaurant, but he never showed. When I went to the Requiem, I guess I assumed you'd heard me referred to as Susan, so that's how I introduced myself," she said. It sounded lame even to her own ears, but she hoped it would be enough.

"And Giles? He's not really your brother, I assume."

"No, he's a coworker and a friend, but his name isn't Giles."

John sat quietly, just looking at her. Ruth's heart felt like a wheel of emotions, spinning wildly in her chest. Sadness, uncertainty, anger, love, apprehension all present but not knowing which emotion would win the battle. She thought about pre-empting his arguments and simply telling him to leave, that she knew the relationship was over and there was no use in hashing everything out. But in looking at him, the love she'd felt for him crept back in and she felt like this was her penance for deceiving him; to have to take his anger until he chose to leave.

She's decided that she couldn't take the silence anymore. "John, please talk to me."


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

**Disclaimer:** Spooks is owned by Kudos and the BBC.

**A/N:** This is the final chapter, with a short epilogue to follow. Thank you for your reviews and your support.

* * *

><p><em>Sunday, 6 March 2005<em>

It was late at night and Ruth was curled up on the sofa, Fidget snuggled next to her leg. The fire was burning and a lamp near her was on as she tried to read a book. She'd hoped the story would take her mind off the events of the past few days, but so far it wasn't working. She thought about going to bed, but figured she could just as well be sleepless on the sofa.

The sound of her phone ringing surprised her, until she saw that it was Harry calling. Not in the mood for conversation or company, she let it ring and go to voicemail. A minute later the phone rang again, and once again it was Harry. She debated not answering but decided she didn't want to listen to her phone ring all night.

"Hello, Harry," she said in a quiet voice.

"Hello, Ruth. How are you feeling?" he asked and she knew he wasn't just speaking of the physical. He wanted to know if she'd spoken with John.

"Frankly, Harry, I'm feeling pretty shitty at the moment so if you don't mind, I'm going to hang up."

"Ruth, wait. Is there anything I can do for you? I'd like to help," Harry said and despite her raw emotions she recognized the concern in his voice.

"No, Harry. There's nothing you can do. Good bye," she said and she disconnected the call. For good measure she turned her phone off as well before laying her head down on the arm of sofa. She continued to stroke Fidget's fur while the tears slowly slid down her cheeks.

Ruth spent the night on the sofa, not bothering to go to bed, a decision she regretted in the morning. Besides the aches and pains from her abduction she had the general stiffness associated with sleeping in a place other than her bed.

As she waited for the tea kettle, she knew she was feeling sorry for herself. In the weeks she'd dated John, she'd allowed herself to imagine that he might be the one person she was meant to be with, which she never should have done given the circumstances. Logically, she knew she should have walked away the moment she realized it was him on the bench next to her at the National Gallery, but emotionally she relished the times they'd spent together. She and John were well-matched in many ways, especially emotionally and intellectually. She was mourning the loss of her relationship with John, but she also felt like she was mourning her chance at marriage and motherhood.

Tea prepared, she turned her attention to food. She wasn't all that hungry but the pain pills she'd been given for her ankle would upset her stomach if she didn't eat something at the same time. Popping a slice of bread in the toaster, she pulled a slice of smoked Gouda from her fridge to set atop the toast. Once that was done, she hobbled upstairs, managing not to spill her tea or choke on her toast. 'Little victories,' she thought to herself.

She decided that a hot shower would help loosen her muscles and make her feel a bit more human. Granted, her plans for the day involved sitting on the sofa and reading a book, maybe watching a movie for some variety but that didn't mean she didn't need a shower.

Ten minutes later she stepped out of the shower and after drying off, limped into her room looking for something warm and comfortable to wear. She thought she heard a noise downstairs but when she stopped to listen, she heard nothing. Assuming it was her imagination she continued getting dressed before hearing the noise again. She finished slipping the jumper over her shoulders when the noise started again, this time quite loudly.

Stepping into the hallway, she realized someone was pounding on her front door. Moving as fast as she could, she carefully walked down the stairs as the pounding became more insistent and the person at her door started yelling her name.

Ruth rolled her eyes as she recognized the voice. It even crossed her mind to ignore him but she was afraid he'd call CO19 to break the door down. As the voice and the pounding became more insistent, Ruth finally reached the door, quickly unlocked it, and pulled the door open.

"What the hell are you doing? Are you trying to draw the attention of everyone on the block who's not at work?" she asked. "And speaking of work, why aren't you there?"

"Ruth, you didn't answer your phone this morning and when I come over and knock on your door, you didn't respond either. I was concerned about you," Harry said. "May I come in or do you prefer to do this on your doorstep?"

She glared at him before turning and limping into the house as Harry followed her. She realized with annoyance that in her haste to come downstairs she left her mug of tea upstairs. Since the painkillers hadn't yet kicked in, she decided to simply make another mug of tea.

"Tea?" she called out. She may be annoyed with him but he was her boss and she didn't want to be rude.

Harry stepped into the kitchen. "That would be lovely but let me get it. You shouldn't be standing on that ankle."

"Well, if I hadn't had to race downstairs because someone thought pounding on my door was a good idea, it likely wouldn't be throbbing at the moment," she retorted. A look of regret crossed Harry's face and she began to feel the same. "I'm sorry," she said. "My ankle will be fine. I've nothing planned but to sit on the sofa and read all day anyway."

He gave her a slight smile. "Go and sit down; put your ankle up. I'll bring the tea through."

Ruth nodded before turning towards the lounge.

"Can I bring anything else with the tea? Have you had breakfast yet?" he asked.

"I had some toast. Help yourself if you're hungry," she called out.

Just as she got herself settled Harry came through with two steaming mugs of tea. He set hers on the coffee table in front of her before taking the seat opposite, the same one in which John had sat and told her of the betrayal he felt before telling her he never wanted to see her again and leaving her home.

"Ruth, are you okay? You look like you're in pain," Harry noted.

Ruth pushed aside the bad memory and shook her head. "I'll be fine," she said.

Neither of them spoke for a few minutes as they sipped their tea. Harry finally addressed the elephant in the room. "Is it safe to assume that you've spoken with John?"

Everything with John was too fresh for Ruth to be able to speak so she settled for a nod, trying to keep her tears in check. "You can send that S24 to the shredder. There's no need for it now," she added.

Harry didn't have to be psychic to know that her conversation with John hadn't gone well, but her comment about the S24 confirmed his suspicion. Between that and the aftermath of her abduction Ruth was in for a difficult couple of days.

"I'm sorry that it didn't turn out as you hoped, Ruth. Truly sorry," he said and it was enough for her face to crumble. Harry spotted a box of tissues on a table out of Ruth's reach, so he picked up the box, pulled several tissues out and then handed them to her without a word. He set the box on the table in front of her before moving around and sitting on the edge of the sofa.

He had an overwhelming urge to wrap his arms around her and let her sob until she had no more tears to cry, but he didn't think this action would be welcomed. He waited until she'd finished drying her tears before reaching for her right hand. "Ruth, I didn't come over to make you cry."

She tightened the grip on his hand and wiped her face with the tissue in her left hand. "It's all right, Harry. What happened with John wasn't your fault. I can't blame him for never wanting to see me again. How could you trust someone who'd started the entire relationship on a lie?"

"Not that it will make you feel better, but I did something similar to Jane, which you could say was the beginning of the end for us." Ruth didn't say anything so Harry continued. "We met at university and then I joined the Army. Shortly before Jane and I were to be married, I applied for a job with Five, but let Jane think I was applying for a job with the Home Office. Of course I should have discussed it with her first, but I didn't and when I finally did tell her the truth about where I'd be working, I told her on our wedding day, not long after the ceremony. Jane wasn't pleased, of course, but I stupidly thought it wouldn't make much of a difference. Of course, that was just one of many other mistakes I made in those first years of our marriage." Harry looked down, still ashamed after all these years.

"You're right about one thing," Ruth started. She waited until Harry looked up at her before continuing. "That didn't make me feel better."

They continued to look at one another before Ruth snorted out a strange laugh amidst her tears. "You just confirmed that the end of my relationship with John was my fault and that I shouldn't get involved with someone unless I can be honest with them from the get go," she said as the tears started again. "I stupidly allowed myself to dream and believe that he was the one for me; the one that I'd marry and have children with. But I don't even know if he wanted to have kids. Like I said, stupid me."

Harry hated seeing Ruth so distraught so without further thought, he reached out and embraced her, pulling her close to him as she cried. There was no ulterior motive, simply a desire to provide a friend comfort and yet that strange feeling he'd experienced before they'd been abducted was back. Now was not the time for self-introspection, however.

"Ruth," he said in soothing voice, "someday you're going to look back on this and know that John wasn't the right person for you. It doesn't mean that either of you were stupid or bad or unworthy of love, but that someone else is meant to be that person." Harry continued to hold her, lightly stroking her arm as she cried. "I didn't mean to imply that what happened with John was your fault."

For the next few minutes, neither of them spoke. Once Ruth's tears had subsided, she pulled out of Harry's embrace and used a tissue to wipe off her face.

"Sorry about that," she said quietly.

Harry reached out and squeezed her hand, the one not holding the tear-stained tissue. "No apology necessary," he said and hesitated before continuing. "I do need to ask you, though, if you feel as though you are having any lingering issues from our abduction, aside from the ankle."

Ruth shook her head. "I don't feel like it, but maybe that's because of what happened with John. Harry, I'll be back on the Grid tomorrow. I need to come in to work and have something else to think about rather than what's happened the past few days." Ruth managed a brief smile. "I'll be okay; truly I will."


	14. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

**Disclaimer:** Spooks is owned by Kudos and the BBC.

**A/N:** This is it folks. Thank you so much for your kind words and your support.

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><p><em>Summer, 2010<em>

Ruth walked out of the gallery and down the stairs. Not finding who she was looking for, she sat on one of the steps off to the side to wait. She pulled out her phone to ensure she hadn't missed a message when she heard someone say her name.

"Ruth? Ruth Evershed, wasn't it?"

The voice was vaguely familiar but it wasn't until she looked up that she recognized who was speaking to her.

"John, hello. How are you?" she asked as she stood from her seat.

"Good, I'm good. And you? Funny running into you here," he noted with a slight smile.

She returned the smile as she nodded. "Yes, a bit coincidental. I'm doing well. I'm supposed to be meeting someone here. Actually haven't been here since we ran into one another here all those years ago. Are you meeting someone?" she asked, having noticed that he wasn't wearing a wedding ring.

"Yes, my fiancée. We're having our wedding reception here at the Gallery, so we're meeting to work out some of those details," he said as he glanced at his watch.

"Congratulations, John. I'm happy to hear that. What a beautiful venue for a reception as well," she noted genuinely.

"Thank you. I'm a lucky man," John said before hearing someone calling his name. He glanced to the top of the stairs and Ruth followed his gaze. A woman was waving and called his name once again. "That's my fiancée, so I guess I should go. It was nice to see you again, Ruth, and I hope… I hope you're happy," he added with sincerity.

Ruth smiled in response. "I'm very happy, John, and I hope you and your fiancée will be as well."

John returned the smile and gave her a wave as he bounded up the stairs and greeted the woman with a quick kiss and a hug.

Ruth felt a presence behind her and she turned quickly to find Harry standing close.

"You disappeared on me," she said, giving him a quick kiss.

"Well, little miss Cora here wasn't interested in standing still so we went for a quick walk around the fountains in the square," he said as he handed his daughter back to her mother, who placed her in the baby carrier.

"Did she enjoy the view or were you too busy boring her with the history of the Battle of Trafalgar?" Ruth teased.

"If she can stay awake through your discussion of The Iliad she'll be just fine listening to me talk about military history," Harry replied, causing Ruth to laugh.

They were in London visiting family and friends while Ruth was on break from teaching classics part-time at Oxford. Harry was mostly retired, though he taught a class now and again on military history at Oxford as well. They'd just finished a visit to the National Gallery when Ruth hung back to explore the gift shop while Harry took Cora from the baby carrier Ruth was wearing and headed outside.

"Who were you talking to just now?" Harry asked.

Ruth smiled as she thought about all that had changed in the past five years. "Believe it or not, that was John Fortescue. Do you remember him?" she asked.

Harry nodded. "Of course I do. He broke your heart."

Ruth smiled at the sentiment in her husband's voice. "Well yes, and as much as I hate to admit it you were right."

Harry looked surprised. "I was? About what?"

"You told me in the days after John dumped me that someday I'd be able to look back and know that John wasn't the right man for me. Of course, I didn't expect that the right man would be you, though there were many times, including before I dated John that I fantasized about you being the right one for me." Now that Cora was securely in the baby carrier, Ruth linked her arm through Harry's and they strolled into Trafalgar Square.

"Well, you know that's when I realized I felt something for you, but that it led to this was something I never expected." He reached over and kissed his wife's cheek. "Let's grab a taxi and head back to Catherine's. Cora could use a nap and so could we," he said, winking at his wife.

Ruth laughed and gripped Harry's arm tighter. "I like how you think, dear husband," she said.

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><p><strong>AN: **While I am a Downton Abbey fan, I used the name Cora for Ruth and Harry's daughter because it was the name I chose eight years ago for my second child, until I learned I was having a boy. I still love the name and was happy to have a chance to finally use it, even if it's only for a fictional child.


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